My life lately felt like a rocket ship—everything is moving way too fast. And if there’s something I’m really bad at that I can think of, it’s my ability to adapt to change. I despise change. I want everything still and simple. But since Jesus Christ is an unpredictable God, you’ll never know what circumstances He’ll try to bring into your life.
My friend, please don’t harbor any grudge against the Lord if He tries to take you out of your comfort zone. I know you want everything steady. But this is His way of trying to show you how He cares. Remember that the Lord is just testing some of your core values—in my case it’s obedience—and that He’s taking advantage of the situation for you to grow.
Couple of weeks ago, I ended my long-term relationship. Like a normal human being, I’ve gone through the grieving process. I was a complete wreck for the first week. I couldn’t eat, sleep and talk to anyone. I even felt like my soul was being detached from my body. Sounds uncanny but it’s totally normal. Our body system adjusts to emotional loss too. Until I woke up one day ascertained that I don’t want that kind of feeling anymore. It’s no longer healthy. Denial and isolation will never solve the problem nor will they heal my wounds. I had to face it, embrace it and gradually let it go. Day after day, the pain that seems unbearable was slowly turning into something tolerable.
So how do we achieve complete healing? Want to hear it?
You need to go home
Do you still remember what you did the first time your phone malfunctioned? Unless you’re a repair man yourself, I assume you went to the manufacturer. Those people know the nuts and bolts of their own product. They know exactly how to fix the damage. Beloved, you need to realize that the same goes for us humans. When things are unclear, if you feel lost, unloved and broken, that’s a go signal that it’s time to go home. Seek for the creator. God is waiting for you to come back. He is your repair man.
Surrender yourself to the Lord, and wait patiently for Him. —Psalm 37:7 (GLT)
Letting go and letting God isn’t just a cliché spiritual advice. It’s an act of surrendering your life to the Almighty and leaving all the works in His hands instead of trying to manipulate others and controlling the situation.
Allow God to revamp you. Revamping starts when you make the decision of trusting God and letting Him take full control of your life. Know that you are already forgiven and the Lord has prepared a new beginning for you. Focus more on what He is doing within you rather than what He is doing outside you. If the Lord is cutting off some branches of your life, you’re in the pruning season. God is removing anything unnecessary to prepare you for something bigger and better.
Give yourself some lovin’
Knowing your worth is the ultimate key to loving yourself. Embrace all your strengths and all your flaws. If you can’t change the latter then you might as well just learn how to accept them. After all, they are parts of you. Your scars aren’t who you are, they are who you were. They are the weaknesses you forced from the inside. Your scars aren’t scars. They are stories. They are testimonies of how great our God really is.
Enjoy your singleness. Try new stuff alone or old things you did as a couple and be surprised on how well you were able to pull it off without any companion. Go for it. Go and start now. Travel often. Explore the country. Take a new hobby. Go to church and meditate. Do yoga. Learn a different language. Engage yourself to volunteer works. Meet new people. Adopt another cat. Keep a journal for your thoughts. Laugh with your friends. Cook for your family. Watch new TV shows and movies. Pull an all-nighter for a Star Wars marathon. Read a book and stay on your bed all day. Just enjoy your life and don’t be too hard on yourself. Do whatever your heart desires as long as it pleases God.
The only time that you’d be ready to love people right is when you learn your own value in God.
Remember that time is your best friend
What if you find yourself crying at the end of the day? My friend, let me assure you that it’s okay. It’s completely normal. Always remember that healing is a process and you have to go through it. God wants you to release your grief. Stop acting like it’s not there because it will only prolong your torment. Acknowledge your pain and surrender it to Him. Pour it out to God. Release it so He can heal your heart. It will take time but you will definitely see the sun shine soon.
One of these days, you will surely find yourself wondering if anyone will really come along to love you. But you need to trust and keep your faith that God is already preparing for your “The One” and that he’s just somewhere out there praying for the same thing—to give him a person exactly like you. For now, use your time to prepare yourself for the love of your life. Be in awe with the idea of your future relationship that revolves around God.
You will be surprised how you love the same things. You will be surprised that he likes adventures as much as you do. You will be surprised that he owns a cat. You will be surprised that he’s a total geek for Doctor Who and Star Wars. You will be surprised that he’s fond of classic literature too. You will be surprised that he listens to pop rock and jazz. You will be surprised that he keeps a blog for his thoughts. You will be surprised that you no longer care whether you love the same things or not because his presence is more than enough. You will be surprised how godly, open, and full of wit this man is. And when he finds you, he will be surprised too. Because you used your time to be the person he asked God for—a beautiful, independent, and compassionate Christian woman who doesn’t need anything because she’s already secured with God’s love alone.
I believe that I’m 100% percent healed. And that is because I let God take the authority. The situation blinded me from seeing His greatness that He had to pull me back from focusing and obsessing on the tiny detail so I can get into the bigger picture—that I am a woman of Christ and I only deserve the best. Although some might consider it a little late, I never think that way. He saved me nevertheless. He might be an unpredictable God but He is faithful to those who obey Him.